May Not Finish? Crazy Love book

Chapter 2- Crazy Love
James asks, “What is your life…It is but a vapor.” Simple thought, but very much examines who I am. My life is but a moment here on earth. What do I do with my small frame of time that I am here? How much of it is invested and how much is waste. When we think of money, we spend a percentage of what we have on the “must” things in life; we spend a percentage on things that will last; and the rest is pretty much waste. How much of my life do I invest in the kingdom which will last, how much in the “must” things and how much do I just waste. If I truly see that my life is a vapor, wouldn’t I increase the amount that I invest hugely? Do I truly realize how short my life is and think about how I am investing it? Sometimes a lot… sometimes very little.
The title of this chapter is talking about something that we really don’t think about very much. We could die any moment. We could not finish the chapter we are reading. We assume, we plan we take each day as if the next is certain. But if I really understand and take in what James is saying, I am not even promised tomorrow. I am not promised the rest of today! So if God does give me the rest of today and tomorrow even, rather than take if for granted, how can I invest? I could just waste it, but rather I should invest it. The book doesn’t talk about it, but I am studying James right now. It is about works and doing good, for the sake of the kingdom. The time and energy I put into helping someone, praying for someone or giving in some way in the name of the Lord, is invested. It is stored up and not wasted. I want my life to be saved! Not in the sense that I not die, that isn’t as important; but in the sense that a large and growing portion of my time and my energy needs to be sent on ahead of me. What I do for me, fills the moment and then is lost in the vapor that my life is, what is done for others especially sharing Christ in some way is stored up, is useful, is not waste.
The section on worry hits home. I am not a big worrier at least compared to some. (Which I know comparing to other people is the best way to think of things…or not) I don’t have the general just worrying that something bad might be coming and I do pretty good at laying my concerns at the cross. But when I am completely overwhelmed with the bad things in business, and in life I can allow myself to get lost in worry and am not able to lay it at the cross. I eventually do, but not until after a lot of stress, tears and pain. But then just as the author mentions I think, “Well, I am doing pretty well anyway because these are really bad problems. They are not the average things that other people deal with. (Comparing again) God wouldn’t expect me to be able to just let this go, He knows what I go through. As Chan points out, thinking like that is me assuming that God doesn’t really mean what He says. He tells me to “rejoice in the Lord always!” Wow, God do you really not expect me to worry at all? I eventually give it up to you? Is even the worry that I have for a few days as I am praying to let go wrong? Well, if I believe Him it is! So rather than praying and praying and crying and then finally letting the worry go, and then feeling good that I have, I am sinning. So many times when I only carry it a day or two and then let go I think I am doing so well; and I am compared to some. (Comparing again… and not to Jesus)When I do lay it down and stop worrying, I know that I feel like I have done well and done well for God. But in reality I am just coming to the end of a period of sin and should be confessing. Wow! That hits home. That is time of God’s I have wasted, and trust that I have held back from him. Time spent worrying is time spent in sin. I know that in the broader sense but have I really realized it in the day or two that I spend worrying sometimes. No, not to the extent that I realize that I have grieved my Heavenly Father in my repeated sin! There is no worry justified.
Chan says that stress is us saying that the things we are involved in are more important than following God. Stress says that MY life is important enough to merit my impatience; to merit my disobedience!
Worry and stress reek of arrogance. Ouch! Our problems compared with God’s strength are tiny! But oh how I think they are huge and so important! It is about Him. His world, His show!
The next section is about living our life knowing that it could be the end. He talks about a man that stood up and spoke at a funeral. His last statement was to the effect of, you never know when God is going to end your life, are you ready? Do you know Jesus? Then he sat down beside his wife and died. That seems a drastic story but we don’t know. Most people who die don’t expect it to be right then. The questions that brings is- am I ready? Oh yes, I am saved and ready to meet Jesus, I have no doubt of that. But, have I done all that I need to do? Have I told everyone that I need to tell about Him? Will I go with Jesus on my lips? God puts people in our lives that it is our responsibility to share Jesus with. We may be the only one? Am I willing to let that person go to hell because I was too wrapped up in my life to live God’s life here?
Chan says funerals are always nice. Many times we sit and listen to people have to gloss over and change the truth to make the person sound better than they were. Everyone knows it, but no one would say anything bad about the dead. Hmmm. I’m writing my eulogy now. Do I want it to be a bunch of stretched out facts? And more important than that, is what about when I step into heaven and meet Jesus? Will I bring Him all that I could have? Or will He say, “Come on in…you sure packed light?”

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