Chapter 3 Crazy Love- God’s Love

The video asks, ”Do I always pray to God as a child on His Father’s lap?” Do I really dwell on the love that He has for me and relate to Him that way? I do, but I am hoping to find that even deeper through this next chapter.
Chan’s experience with his own father was one of fear more than one of love. So he related to His Heavenly Father in much the same way. He responded more to the fear than the love. Maybe that is why I have never had a problem seeing God as love and God as my Father. My earthly father is such a good man and a loving man that I don’t have a problem relating God to him. Especially as he has gotten older and his emotions have become deeper and softer than when we were growing up. We do now and always did know that we were loved.
Do I always think when I am praying that God loves me even more than I love my own child? Or do I take if for granted? I say it, but do I take the time to dwell on it. Not always I don’t. Many times I go through my prayer list and talk to God without a real thought for His love for me in that moment. No matter what your child ever does it can never change your love for them. But God is capable of so much more that we are. If I can love my child and I am a selfish earthly person, how much more can God love me? It is more that I can even wrap my head around I know.
I know that when I went though a period of extreme pain in my life, I learned so much more about God’s love. I know that I have contributed that to my needing God more and leaning on Him more. But even in that thought I still think it is about me. God’s love became more real to me at that time because seeing my need, he poured out more of it on me. He gave me more, He opened my eyes more, and He gave me more wisdom to understand Him and His love. It isn’t about me, again it was all about Him.
God wants us. God wants me! That is incredible. He knew me before I was even conceived. He knew me. He chose me. No matter how I displease Him, He loves me. I can understand not losing love because a person hurts you, but the depths of His love I know that I really don’t comprehend. He sent His own Son to die. I am not good enough, I can do good works all my life and it cannot make me even closer to being good enough. I don’t have any good in me outside of Jesus. But He still chooses me.
One quote from the book that really hits is, “The irony is that while God doesn’t need us, but still wants us, we desperately need God, but don’t really want Him most of the time. He treasures us and anticipates our departure from this earth to be with Him- and we wonder, indifferently, how much we have to do for Him to get by.
What is the greatest good on earth? He asks this question and I try to consider it before I look for his answer. My mind might have taken it a little different but basically to the same place. Chan’s answer is God. God is the greatest good that could ever be. My thought was more toward acts than that, and went to the great commission. The act of sharing Jesus is the greatest act of love that we can show to anyone, anywhere and anytime. We can do all kinds of service for someone, give them everything we can humanly get our hands on and not share Jesus and we have hated that person. No matter how much we thought we showed love, giving Jesus is the most we can do and the best we can do.
How much do I understand God’s love for me? How much do I love God? I know that it is a growing thing in my life. I lived many years doing the right thing and praying, but not really living in the shadow of His wings. As I have gone through more losses in my life and even before that I have felt God drawing me to Him. It is a feeling that can not be explained. There is an ever-increasing pulling of my heart to be with God all day long. His love for me is constant I know, but my love for Him is growing daily. But, I know that aside from His love, I have no capacity to love, so even in that ever growing love that I have for Him, it isn’t anything that I am doing. It is Him, it is His story still. As my love increases it is His love in me doing the work. Wow again.
You know, we see someone that shows a huge love for Christ, we think so much of that person. It isn’t about them either, even in that, the awe should go to God. It is always God in us; not us! His love, His grace and His Story. But oh how I sometimes think it is about me!

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